One of my favorite quotes is taken from four lines of a much larger poem by Adam Lindsay Gordon (1833-1870) called Finis Exoptatus, which I excerpt for you here:
"Life is mostly froth and bubble;
Two things stand like stone:
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own."
It zeroes in on something that could use improvement in our society today: being sensitive to the situations of others. One of the common tools of fiction writers these days is to have the protagonist say to the victim of a crime, “Listen, I know what you're going through, but ...” And the victim interrupts with, “Oh no you don't! You can't know how I feel! Nobody can!”
This is a common sentiment in our times, that we are all alone and when something goes wrong we are inconsolable. And the saying, “To understand a person, you must first walk in their shoes,” hangs in the air like a forbidding wall to keep anyone who wishes to sympathize from crossing the boundary of our trust.
To illustrate the point, we are often reminded that Marie Antoinette, when told that the peasants had no bread, said , “Let them eat cake.”1 Some would tell us that she was oblivious of the problems of the peasants. How could she know how bad they had it? She was surrounded by incredible wealth and protected from a knowledge of their problems by the separation of the classes.2
While making an excuse for poor Marie in this manner, we are really echoing a false notion of personal isolation, and we are reinforcing the abdication of our responsibility to our fellow man.
In a recent Sacrament Meeting, the visiting High Council speaker made a profound observation. Citing the first of the Ten Commandments 3, he pointed out that to love God is a commandment, and therefor love is a choice!
We must choose to love God, and we must choose to love our fellowman. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.4 These two constitute the framework upon which is built the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We are our brother's keepers.5
But how do we get in the other person's shoes? Our imaginations can only bring us close. We say, “I can only imagine what you must be feeling.” And sometimes we are bold and say, “I had a similar thing happen to me; I didn't enjoy it.” But we can't really get inside someone else's head and feel what they feel.
The remaining distance between where they are and where we are can only be covered by love. No two individuals' experiences are the same, and to walk in each other's shoes without love is an impossibility.
The kind of love we are talking about here is Charity, the pure love of God6. It has no strings. It knows no limits. And its focus is upon the betterment of someone else.7 And to distill our mortal feelings into the right kind of love requires a surrender of our own will and desires to that of God, Himself.
The accomplishment of such a thing has only happened once, in its most perfect sense. It was about A.D. 34, and the occasion was the Passover of the Jews in Jerusalem. The actual location was a small garden of olive trees on the side of the Mount of Olives. While his disciples attempted to keep watch8, their master, Jesus of Nazareth, went a little further on and prostrated himself to begin a process whereby he would apply his own teachings about loving his neighbor and would end up counting every soul that has or would ever live on the earth.9
Now this counting was not to obtain numbers in a ledger, but to transcend time and space and spend conscious effort to understand the situation of each person, to suffer with them 10, to suffer for them 11, and to become a shield of mercy against that justice which would have destroyed their chances to be returned safely home to the Father of their spirits.12
In taking upon Himself the sins of all mankind, one at a time, Jesus of Nazareth became Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of Israel and the Savior of the world. By demonstrating Love in its purest form He was empowered to not only walk beside us, but also to walk in our shoes.
Those who understand this fact become aware that Christ is with them always.13 And He knows what they are going through when no one else does. And there is no way to push Him away as we do our other companions on the journey of life. And every time we think we are waiting on the Lord, it always turns out that He is waiting on us. He waits for us to notice He is there.14 He waits for us to experiment on His words.15 He waits for us to ask for help. He waits at the door and knocks.16
May we have the courage, in our troubles, to notice He is there, to answer the door, and to let Him comfort us in a way that only Love allows.
1 I acknowledge that this is mostly cliche'. I recommend the wikipedia article, on Marie Antoinette, see especially the final section entitled, "Historical legacy and popular culture" where the origin of this is explained.
2 This is probably a false view because Marie Antionette was aware of the rising bread prices due to a harsh winter in 1788-1789. (Search the above mentioned article for "bread prices".) But Marie was indeed a victim of rumor mongering which was partly responsible for her downfall.
3 See Exodus 20:2-6, see also Mark 12:28-30
4 See Matthew 22:37-40
5 See Genesis 4:9
6 See Moroni 7:47
7 See the Parable of the Good Samaritan – Luke 10:27-37
8 See Matthew 26:36-45
9 See Mosiah 15:10-11 for an explanation of the Messianic passage, Isaiah 53:10
10 See Mosiah 24:13-14 – God not only delivers his people but visits them in their afflictions. See also Alma 7:11-12
11 See Mosiah 3:7
12 See John 14:2-3
13 See 3 Nephi 18:11
15 See Alma 34:3-4
16 See Revelation 3:20
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